Thursday, May 8, 2014

#BringBackOurGirls: Oh Really?

“In the grand scheme of things, we all are probably just fighting a war we can’t win”. B.O.B said that in a song which title I don’t care to remember right now. But you know, maybe there is no war at all. Maybe we all are just a bunch of wimps falling victims of our own imaginations of monsters and evil warlords with cheap clothes and expensive artilleries.

The eye of the world is currently on Nigeria. Of course, for all the wrong reasons. The current World Economic Forum which Nigeria is supposedly strategically hosting to attract foreign investors into its freshly rebased economy has been all but eclipsed by the “abduction” of almost 300 schoolgirls in Chibok, north east of the country.

With the way the ‘#BringBackOurGirls’ hashtag continues to gather enormous followings on Twitter, it goes
only to prove that this is not one of those disasters Nigeria can conveniently “move on” away from.

Right after corruption, it’s the next thing Nigerians are notorious for – moving on. We are the living and breathing model of “time heals”. As the country grapples with one scandal, one disaster, one anomaly, a long list of happenings are on cue to take the center stage and shift our focus ever so slightly till all we have left are loose chains of problems we forgot to address.

As things stand right now, I might be the only one in the country who remembers that our $20bn is still unaccounted for and SLS has neither been convicted nor acquitted of charges levelled against him. This among so many others are things we conveniently transfer into memory chest.

But back to the top. I have a conspiracy theory. “Our girls” have been gone for how long now? 4 Weeks? And with all our military intelligence in Nigeria – if there is any, nothing, nada, zilch has been gathered in terms of intel on the location or condition of these girls – even Jonathan confirmed that. No communication has been established with the “abductors” regaling us of their demands – forget that sham video from Boko Haram. No comprehensive list of the girls has been released complete with photographs. No mother has come out to admit her girl was among one of those abducted – ask Patience Jonathan for details on that. No father too. Also, some of the girls who claimed to have escaped the lair of the sect, as we saw on TV are closer in resemblance to “Our Mothers”, than “Our Girls”.      

So, when you put all of these together and absolutely risking my conclusion being tagged a hasty generalization, my conspiracy theory is that, “Our Girls” couldn’t have possibly been abducted. As far as this fight against Boko Haram and cry for the release of “Our Girls” goes, we are just catching a fever. We have been sold a dummy. And a sick bastard is somewhere laughing his behind off.   

Before you label me an insensitive fool with an undeserved access to a PC and internet (maybe I am a tad bit), I have actually thought about all these and even I have tweeted with the #BringBackOurGirls hashtag sometimes, but stepping back a bit and asking questions like who stands to gain from the kidnappings? What does whoever is gaining from this stands to gain? And how does it shake up for whoever is gaining for this chaos? One is not exactly left at a loss for answers. It all points to an intelligent designer – the Nigerian Government.

As scary as it sounds saying or typing this, and as ridiculous as it seems even conceiving it, this is all very intelligent. The Nigerian government, having conceded its own inability to contain the insurgency all by itself has fashioned out this grand scheme to bring in the big guns. A little rough on the edge maybe, but the staged kidnap, the #BringBackOurGirls hashtag and all the fuss complete with the WEF the country is hosting is all part of a big Moriarty scheme, it brought great attention; now US, UK, France, China and a host of others are forming up a Justice League.  

This should bring into perspective what Jonathan said, that, this latest actions of Boko Haram has ushered in their end. They have through these actions composed their elegy. The death knell has been sounded. According to Jonathan, the President of the Federal Republic of Nigeria, this…is…the…end. Think about it. It stinks. Good? Posterity will have to be the judge.

Gbenga Onalaja

May, 8, 2014: 17:44