#Nickelback plays in the background#
I am so ecstatic I can’t believe myself. I just got back
from the shower, an expected fallout of hours on the Tennis court, courtesy of
my Uncle; adopted Uncle, who drilled me in a 4 set game, the result of which I
am not really willing to share right now.
Take it or leave it, I still can’t believe I just got back from
the sports pavilion less than 30 minutes ago and am still as strong as a horse – seriously, literally strong enough
to run the Third Mainland from end to end.
However, as the idea may have started to take shape in your
mind, I am sorry to disappoint you; this post is not about the ecstasy attached
to being this strong after all I have been through today, it’s actually about the
mystery attached to the whole affair – which I swear on oath is even a more
interesting topic.
Ofcourse, get rid of that quizzical glare creeping onto your
face. I really had been through a lot today, and you see, if anyone had told me
I was going to end the day on a high, God knows I would have gladly given the
dude a psychiatrist’s contact – a little tick check maybe.
It started on a bad note. There is no masking it; it was bad,
really bad. You know that kind of bad where you think all the forces of nature
are beefing you all at the same time? Yep! That kinda bad.
 |
| Think Again |
I did not know where the vibe was coming from. But just
somewhere deep inside, I knew the day wasn’t going to be a good one. I am not a
psychic, don’t even nurse that thought. And my name is Gbenga, if anyone knows
me at all, s/he will know I am not the bloke who walks around with random chains
of premonitions forming a halo around my head. But you see, even I felt surprised
at myself. There were no signs; just this persistent snowballing hunch that
keeps whispering into my hear, “bad day
ahead”.
I braced up for it, and lo, the first jab came; the studio-broadcasting
schedule had been reorganized. Alright, you may think, what’s the big deal in
that? Well my dear, it is a deal, not just a big one, it’s colossal.
So there I was, gazing at the schedule, thinking, boiling,
seething and finally, I couldn’t help but vocalize it, “holy crap”, I said without giving a thought to it. My mind was
racing, how am I supposed to compensate
myself for the early reveille I had to grumble through this morning? Who changes a schedule without telling the
parties involved anyways? I really was boiling now, I could feel vapour effervesce
through my hair follicles.
But well, when life gives you lemons they say, make a
lemonade of it. So, guess what I did? I bent over, picked my lemonades off the
tiles, got the juicer, and sooner than I had thought, I was sucking away at my
cup of lemonade soon enough, even though I had to play the wingman on the Show
that was supposed to be mine, I still didn’t lose my cool – round of applause
for me. Yaay!!
So, what happened next? A whole lot of things. But I will go
on ahead – spare you the Rango story, and tell you the kahuna tale; the one
that convinced me that, truly truly, I had bargained for a bad day, and I was
getting it with all the aftersales service. What happened? The talk about “crushes”.
Not the kinda crush that involves a pestle and unlucky
pieces of Yam in Mrs. Aweda’s mortar. It’s the one where a boy and a girl are
the main players. You can shut your mouth now. The truth; every guy in the world
had had a crush, currently has a crush, or will soon have one. So let’s face
it, it’s a talk about a crush; a mistake maybe, I just hope I make it more often.
I am going to tell you a little bit about this crush.
Because believe it or not, the event with her toppled my day – I told you it
was the mother of them all. So, take a good listen (read maybe), this promises
to be long and boring.
This crush was the most persistent one I have felt in all my
life, it lasted about two years – it’s sick right? I think so too. The girl we
are talking about is smart, according to my estimation. She was the only crush
that made me bit my tongue at any attempt to make a joke around her. Why? ‘cos
she doesn’t get them – I think that’s dumb, but what could I have done? This
crush was the only one I could not make any sense of because it was fetish in
outlook to me. Why? That will be a story for another day.
This crush….is the only crush I can’t find the words to
describe because the words don’t come. *static recall*, am sorry to disappoint,
but that will be all you will know about that crush for now. But overall, there
is this detail I will like you to know about her. Our friendship status – which
ranges from a passive “non greeting and talking” to a superficial “hugging”
everytime determines the outcome of my day. So, depending on where we fall on
the scale for a very long had been the measure of my mood and the general productivity
of my day. (You are gonna have to pardon the past/present tense mix-up, am not
sure just yet, if am over the crush).
I know it’s pretty complex and hard to connect with. But
usually, because crush is not something you can just toggle on and off like a
power switch, I try to always be on her good side, ‘cos to be on the bad side,
is to bargain for a really bad day. Moreover, since choosing sides is something
I can easily control – relatively, compared to the mode of the crush, I usually
choose to work on what side I find myself.
So, since you’ve taken out your time to guess. I actually did
found myself (which in all honesty isn’t my fault) on her bad side today. And
it all went plummeting from there on. I snapped at everyone around, like I’ll
do anytime this happens, believe me, I don’t have any idea why this happens all
the time, but it does every single time. I’m thinking she knows she has that
effect everytime. But ofcourse, by writing this, I just cleared all the doubts.
Enough of my sappy crush tales. After all that, my day went
from bad worse, even as I was invited to host a programme I was not given an
official letter of invitation. What were they thinking? Like seriously, I was
going to walk in there and look like a fool to potential crushes? Am sorry. No.
Now, what’s the morale of the story. In all sincerity, I
dunno anymore. It’s 23:31, and my eyes are flickering shut. I am just going read
this over, and press, “upload” – errors or not.
But just so you know, tomorrow is going to be a really good
day, ‘cos though today threatened to be bad one, it turned out better than a date
with Bukola Elemide. All thanks to ‘Beth, Pia, Stephie, Aretha (who were soft
cushion ladies) and Kay who kept me on the court till 9.00pm. You guys shamed
my crush. I had a blast of a day, hope to partner with you guys more often. 25
gbosas to you guys jare.
P.S Please ignore all my bloopers, I really was half-asleep and
torpid while posting this. Moreover, about that crush…#am walking away, Graig
David#, let’s just say, am done with crappy deals. *winks*
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