I don’t know if there is any proverb that says, “A man that
had his head chopped because he stole a Chicken will not give a second thought
before stealing a Cow”. Well, like I said earlier, am not sure if any proverb
like that exists, so provided it does not exist (which am 240% sure of), please
add it to your list of proverbs and make sure to put my nifty name at the end
as the by line, and don’t forget to add Lord while you at it. Infact, check out
the format below because some folks like me might just be too dumb to follow
simple description, hence, just copy and paste the following:
“A man that had his head chopped because he stole a Chicken will not give a second thought before stealing a Cow if given another chance of life” – Lord Pipis Onalaja.
Copy that? Yeah, that’s what I’m talking about. Atta boy,
now you got a new rule to live by. But let’s wait a moment and depress the
rewind button. What does the proverb means? Considering the fact some people reading
this post might be as dim-witted as I am (deem it a complement), I will quickly
put up clarification, and as for all you smart pants, please bear with us, it will only take a sec.
“So what’s with the
proverb?” Your dumb mind keep asking, well let’s imagine, what is the worse
fate that could befall a man? Provided a man survived and is able to live even
with his head having been chopped into oblivion (like the stubborn cockroach), what
else does he have to lose. The head according to Lord Gbenga here only
signifies something most important to an individual, something sacred and
something more like an halo *adjusts halo. No one will want to lose that. Now,
in the event that someone loses that very important thing for a trivial matter,
won’t he be willing to bargain on a more sizeable affair knowing he does not
have much to lose since he had lost it all? Well then, there you have it. If I
can lose my head for stealing a Chicken, what stops from stealing a Cow or even
a whole herd if I had another shot at life?
It may all seem incoherent still, but have you considered
this proverb in the light of the news that is effervescing from the political
arena? Oh!! You can’t? …Or you’ve not heard? …. No? *smh, “O Blind Bartimaeus,
for how many times shall I give you your sight?”, well, if you’ve not heard,
you can read the news here.
Welcome Back:
So now you’ve read; Bankole, the young man whose money
laundering dexterity belie his polished Obamaic accent, is trying as hard as he
could to get back into the House (he’s uncomfortable with his father’s house). And
in my opinion, this news couldn’t have strolled into the dailies at a more
crucial time than this when I (dunno about y’all) is just starting to wonder
where on earth the fine man is, Yes, you heard me, he’s a fine man, almost made
my dad turned gay (pun intended), and also when everyone is starting to see the
EFCC as the joke that it really is (no little thanks to Wikileaks), infact, if
anyone will care to ask me, I’ll say EFCC is a farce, and their allies;
outright Friday Open Mike Night or better still, night of a thousand laughs
*chortles.
According to the report, Bankole is not leaving anything to
chance this time and more than anything else, he has the backing of major
political gladiators in Ogun, and speaking of political gladiators in Ogun, you
know Baba Iyabo dons the Number 9 jersey (Number one striker). While we transfer
all that to our molar and premolar to work on (just flaunting my Integrated
Science class attendance), why don’t we ask ourselves how he intends to get
into the house this time? Are you as blank as I am? Well, I won’t blame anyone,
and I won’t play the kettle that calls a pot albino, we are all in darkness
together since my degree of dumbness is mutually proportionate to yours (don’t
take offence, just trying to be funny). But
while we still grope in darkness as to how Rambo plans his return into the
hallowed chambers, let’s also not forget to nurse our knowledge of the fact
that Nigeria is the country after God’s own heart, and you know what happens
when Big G is involved? *silence, so you don’t? Ok, it only means all things
are possible’; so keep nursing that while we await the Return of Banky Rambo.
However, as much we might want to lose ourselves in awe in
the light of this sickening revelation, it might well do us a great deal of
good to also ponder on what rock the trial of young Bankole and his sidekick –
Nafada by EFCC has thumped. Does this mean that all those arresting and media
barrage of the trial was a fart in a LAWMA’s truck? Is it all just a powder in
the wind? I am still here racking my brain like an English student sitting for
ANA 202 exam *fans self*.
I digress too much.
But any which way, I’ll refer us back to our word on marble,
if Rambo stole only $10B (or whatever the report is) and EFCC threatened to
pull off the moon from the firmaments, which in all its obviousness is not
going to happen anytime soon, is it not just another leverage and a Nitro for
mass laundering of our national treasury? Is it not a clarion call to come and
buy a ticket to watch the folly of the red Eagle? Well, we all know it’s just a
farce now, and let’s thank Wikileak for buying the fan that provided the wind
for the blowing of the fowl’s behind.
This is just another ranting in my confused life, but a rather topical one, because in times like this I ask myself why I am black, and worse enough, why on earth am a Nigerian. *sobs* *more sobs* …… *wailing*
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