Wednesday, September 7, 2011

FaceBook Challenge: A Refugee's Rant

So, in my last post I had told you guys about my resolution to shut down my Facebook account for one whole month, and if my wits are still up where I left them, I closed that account two days ago even before the post that announced it. Well, I consider it a significant achievement having spent two whole days without even a sneak peep into my Facebook account and as much as I nurse this sense of achievement; my enrolment into this Facebook Rehabilitation Academy has not been the smoothest of sails and that just leaves me to look around for any isle where I could find refuge till the month runs out at least.
Speaking of Refuge Islands, Twitter was the first to raise its sky blue birdie head. Oh!! Twitter? Yeah, I did remember I had a Twitter account that I had not visited in a while because I thought it was meant to be a Social networking site for jobless popular celebirds, (they kuku get all the attention newaiz *smh). Well, I turned to my PC and was rolling out from my keyboard unto my GoogleChrome address bar; before I could say twit, the not too familiar Twitter homepage was smiling at me, and there I was with this fake smile playing across my face, shaking my head trying to underplay the ocean of boredom I was about to plunge into *smh. 

So I logged in, and maybe I was a little paranoid or maybe I had just used a zoom lens to view my twitterphobia; it was not really as bad I thought it was going to be, I had some few mentions and I saw some people wanted to connect so I joined in the twittery and even raised some dusts of my own, but my my, nothing can ever be like home, just when I was about to settle down fully, some senseless twits started rolling in, first it was the mad @GbagaunDetector dude that just came back from a long recess (according to him) that started picking some senseless English Murders (I don’t know why I find it annoying), and then I started having very few mentions till ..... I was left with none eventhough I tried all I could *mtchew; maybe I was right anyway, Twitter is for the Celebs and they have it, congrats to them *claps of scorn. 

So I grabbed my little bag and my little compass; before those Tweeps could say Gbagaun, I had zapped from Twitterville; I looked for the logout option frantically and found it hiding at the bottom of one dropdown menu and pressed the sneaky fella as quickly as I could (eventhough it took me years to find it), I have had enough. So there I was again, awfully disappointed by the Twitterians and left alone once again just with the blue moon out there in the cold *smh *sobs.

Just as I was going to hit the dust and give up in frustration, not so far away loomed an enchanted Island with Hi5 boldly written atop, it all looked fine and prim from afar but I was pretty much unsure of what it has to offer after such a long time, will I even find any known face there after I had abandoned it all this while? I shook the dust off and trudged towards Hi5 and was taking the place of on my address bar, but just when I thought it was going to be an easy passage my fears finally took confirmation, my ten gallon brain has failed me; I could not even remember my username *mtchew; I was too angry, the page was not even inviting sef, it looked like a relic of the 19th century Webwar (if there ever was one), lolz. So I scampered off as fast as I came,  
What options do I have now? I still feel dead without my Facebook, I’m starting to feel like a crackhead in need of a quick fix. 

Well, I tried a whole lot of other options; Naijapals, Legwork, NaijaConnect, even Naija Village Square did not carry last, alas! none of them had any arrangements for refugees like me *smh. I can’t go back to Twitter, never! And am just starting to reconsider my verdict, considering even the number of calls that had flooded my phone with shrieking voices of my friends claiming to have been looking for me like am some kinda lost puppy *smh; what happened to your Facebook? Did you offend Mark? Was it my comment? Is it about that Tag? Blah blah and blah..... But what am I to do? *confused. Guess this is that part where your prayer will be my best insurance policy. *singing Lecrae - Praying for you Rmx